Portrait my husband Jason drew for Dad's Funeral and to give to my mom. |
If this seems like alot of personal information it's because I'm treating my blog as my journal and I feel like I need to write it down. I guess I'll start at the beginning. My sweet Dad had been fighting bile duct cancer for about a year and had been doing quite well. We knew the tumors were inoperable, but he was tolerating chemo treatments so well and the tumors appeared to be shrinking a bit. Sometime in November Dad began to get very jaundiced so mom and he went to the doctor. They discovered a blockage and ordered a procedure to put in a stint to be able to drain around the blockage. That seemed to go okay, and about a week later they decided to do a second surgery to eliminate the bag on the outside of Dad's body before they started chemo again. My sister Rachel and her husband Jared brought Dad up to Calgary for the day surgery and despite alot of pain for Dad things seemed to be successful. He went home that afternoon and they even stopped in Nanton for Chinese food.
The next morning Dad was very sick and running a fever. Mom took him to High River where he had been receiving treatments. He was admitted, was very dehydrated and they suspected an infection. He was hooked up to fluids and antibiotics and we thought he was on the mend. The next morning mom received a call from the hospital expecting it to be telling her that she could come and get Dad. Instead it was the doctor telling mom that things were bad, the infection had moved into his blood and was starting to shut down organs. They said if his children were able, to come to the hospital quickly because they didn't think Dad was going to make it. Mom called me and told me. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I got off the phone and fell to my knees and sobbed. I phoned a friend to help me with the boys, called Jason and we headed to High River. We all spent the day with Dad. He slept alot. Waking periodically and was happy we were all there. We all hugged him and told him we loved him. We comforted each other. At one point when Dad was sleeping we were all having a cry, he woke up saw us all crying and said "you guys having a moment", we told him we were, he responded with "well you have your moment and I'll go back to sleep". One time during the day he even told mom to "get control". He could make us laugh right up to the end.
After a blessing from his sons everyone started to leave. Dave and his family stayed at a hotel in High River, Jared, Amber and Rachel and Jared needed to get home to their children. Jason went to get the boys from our friend's house. I stayed with mom. I am so grateful that I did. I just had a feeling that Dad wasn't going to make it through the night. They brought a cot in for mom and when I decided I'd need some sleep there was a private family room I could go to. We sat with Dad. He had stopped being able to wake up to talk to us, sometimes he'd open his eyes but never responded. Then he peacefully slipped away at 1:20 a.m. December 11th, 2010.
Dad with his girls |
My boys with their Poppa - Dad loved his grandkids |
We had a beautiful service for Dad. He had always told mom that he thought he would have a small funeral. We filled the church all the way to the back of the gym. The meet the family line was non stop and was so comforting to receive so many hugs. Mom was so strong and tried to talk to everyone, Dave gave a wonderful eulogy, Jared a beautiful graveside prayer and Rachel and I each played a piano solo. I know Dad would have been proud of his family. He will be missed, but never forgotten.
Wheat on the corners of the casket - we thought this was fitting. |
Ditto to everything, except I didn't watch Fawtly Towers on his bed:) Its still doesn't seem real.
ReplyDeleteYes so true to everything Lalainia! I love him so much too, and it will probably never seem real! But I don't know if I ever want it to feel real that way he won't be forgotten! I love you lots Lalainia and I am thankful you guys are so much like your dad, it will always keep a part of him here with us!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lainie, for putting on your feelings of your dad. When I opened your blog, I gasped, as I saw Jason's beautiful picture of my brother. I had wanted to take a picture of it at the funeral, and didn't and am so glad it is here. I miss him every day. I reach for the phone many times to talk to him and ask him how he is feeling. He went far too sudden. I wish I had gone down Friday afternoon and just given him a hug and tell him I loved him, but he knew that.This year I got so much closer to my brother. We were always close, we always said we were the rebels in the family and had a bond that made us very close. I whispered something to him, as he lay in that coffin, it was always our standing joke, and I know he laughed as I whispered it to him. Thanks for sharing, your feelings. I will miss him always, and can't wait till I see him again. Love you, Aunt Sheila
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing all of this. Your Dad will truly be missed. He was a lovely man. I'm glad you were able to be there with your Mom. I'm sure that meant a lot to her.
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