Two Dates in One Day

Ashton was off school on Friday so after we dropped off Bowen at preschool I decided to take Ashton out on a little date.  We went to Tim Hortons for lunch, and then ran an errand.  I was thinking that was probably the end of our date and we headed home.  On the ride home Ashton asked if we could maybe watch something on TV together that we both liked.  He asked me if I liked Spiderman, I said I did, so we cuddled up on the couch and watched Spiderman together.  At first I was feeling a bit guilty sitting around and not cleaning my house, but spending one on one time with Ashton was priceless.  He is such a sweet little boy, and I think he enjoyed feeling grown up and having grown up conversations with mom.  I plan on making these little dates with my boys a regular occurence.

As for my second date of the day.  It was Friday night and we were thinking of just having a quiet night in and ordered pizza and maybe to rent a movie.  About 5:30 p.m. Jason's brother Tyler and his little boy Dane arrived.  I quickly racked my brain as to whether tonight was a night we were watching Dane.  After talking for a bit Jason says to me "go get ready" Tyler is here to babysit.  It was such a nice surprise.  We went to Joey's for supper.  I had steak and crab legs (delicious!!), and then we went to Thor.  We had a great night together and I love it when Jason surprises me.

All in all a great day with two out of  three of my favorite men.  Next time will be Bowen's turn.

Car with Flames

While out and about today running errands Bowen noticed a car drive past that had flames on the side of it.  He was very excited and pointed it out to all of us.  The boys were discussing this further, and I really wasn't paying much attention until Ashton commented "well, everyone knows that a car with flames is better than one without flames" - I guess he's probably right!

Melts My Heart

I had the sweetest surprise as I was going to bed last night.  As I reached the door to my bedroom - and wondered why it was shut - I saw this precious little note from my Ashton on the doorknob to my room.

MELTS MY HEART!!

State of Emergency

We almost had to declare a state of emergency at our house this weekend.  3 out of the 4 of us have this nasty stomach flu and we were down to our last roll of toilet paper.  Luckily Jason isn't feeling too bad yet so he was able to get to the grocery store - CRISIS AVERTED!

When Did You Get Here?

Everyday at 3:10 p.m. Bowen and I pick up Ashton at the bus stop by the mailboxes.  I'm embarassed to admit that we almost always drive.  Maybe now that the weather is finally starting to be nice we will walk more often.  But anyway, yesterday we picked him up as usual.

He came off the bus and as soon as he saw me he was in talk mode.  He told me about a boy who is being a bit of a pain - but he handled it.  About some good think he had done and his teacher had rewarded him for it.  He told me that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was being presented at his school tomorrow.  You get the idea - he just talked non-stop from the time he got in the truck until we got home.

I pulled into the garage.  Ashton jumped out of his seat belt looked over beside him at Bowen and says "When did you get here?" 

I Love Being a Mom!

I had a great, but really busy Mother's Day yesterday.  No sleeping in for this mom.  Jason was off before 7:00 a.m. for Bishopric meeting and the boys and I headed to the church by 8:15 a.m. so I could practise with the YW a song they were singing in sacrament meeting.

Sacrament meeting was really nice.  The primary sang "Mother I Love You".  I filled in last minute to lead them as our chorister was ill, but I didn't mind because at least I could hear them - I'm not really sure anyone else did.  I also accompanied the YW - they did a beautiful job.  They sang a song by Sally Deford, I love Sally Deford her pieces are so beautiful.

After sacrament we were off to primary.  I took care of sharing time today.  First we played a "Joseph Smith and the Restoration" Jeopardy Game.  I think the kids had lots of fun and learned some things too.  I put the kids into two teams (boys and girls - except for Bowen and Ashton who were on the girls team because they can't leave Ashley's side).  So I had the kids pick team names the "girls" picked AWESOME PEOPLE, and the "boys" picked "BETTER THAN THAT" - don't ask!  In the end the teams were tied!

After we finished our game we had the kids make 2 hershey kiss roses for their moms.  I found the idea on line and I think they turned out really cute.  I found a little poem on line that they tied onto the roses.  I hope the moms enjoyed them.

You make them by taking 2 hershey kisses and taping the bottoms together.  Then you take either wire, or pipe cleaner - I used kabob skewers and push the end into the chocolate.  You then wrap the kisses with a 4 1/2 inch square of coloured cellophane twisting the ends around the skewer.  Then take green floral tape and wrap from the base of the kisses all the way down to the end of the skewer, adding a leaf half way down.  It was maybe a bit challenging for the little ones but the teachers and presidency all jumped in to lend a hand. I thought they turned out really adorable.  After church I made a couple each to take to my mom, sister and sister in laws.

After church my husband and boys surprised me with my Mother's Day gift.  I got a Cricut Create machine for scrapbooking.  I hope I'll be smart enough to figure out how to use it.  Maybe now I can finally make my 7 and 5 year olds baby books!!  Then we headed to Champion to have dinner and spend the afternoon with my mom, sister, brothers and their families.

I almost forgot - as soon as Ashton got home from school on Friday he gave me the Mother's Day gift he had made me.  He couldn't wait - he's just like his dad!  I loved it - now to find a special place to display it.

I LOVE BEING A MOM!!

Mother's Day Tea

Today was the Mother's Day Tea at Bowen's preschool.  I have been looking forward to this day for months.  I remember Ashton's day and was so looking forward to having this special day with Bowen.  I started the day with the making of chocolate chip cookies to take to the party.  Bowen was my taste tester - I asked him if they were good enough to take to his friends at preschool - he replied with "they're good, the chips are melted, just what I needed".

We got dressed up in our Sunday best and headed to preschool.  It was so cute to see him with his teacher and friends - he was nervous at first but warmed up right away and sang all the little songs they had prepared and did all the actions.  His teacher had each child stand right in front of their mom and sing just to her - so sweet!

Squishing his baby bumblebee

Licking off his baby bumblebee - he thought this was hilarious!



Catching Lollipops and gumdrops

After the singing we had a little lunch.  Sandwiches, fruit and veggies, cookies, cupcakes, and squares.

Placemat made with Bowen's footprints, and a little marigold plant.

It was such a special afternoon with my little boy.  He gave me so many hugs and kisses and was proud I was his mom.  I'm so proud he's my little guy.  The boys are growing up so fast - I'm really trying to savor every moment and not take it for granted.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY 2011

We Hold You In Our Hearts

KENNETH DAVID ATWOOD

May 2, 2008



A pencil portrait Jason drew of Kenny

Three years ago today our little baby Kenneth David was stillborn.  I don't know why but this year it has hit me hard.  How we would have loved to have raised this sweet little one.  I miss him!  I hang onto the few memories I have.  My pregnancy with him, every little kick I felt while he was inside me, seeing him move in ultrasound pictures,  holding his still little body for a few hours in the hospital before handing him over to the nurse.  I hope those images in my mind always stay as vivid, they are precious to me.

His pregnancy started pretty much like my other boys.  We were thrilled to be pregnant again and I was feeling pretty good despite running around after my 2 and 4 year old.  At about 5 months we went for a routine ultrasound and the tech noticed "cysts" in the baby's brain and perhaps something wrong with his spine.  I had lots of friends who had similar markers in their baby's brain and everything was fine so I wasn't overly concerned.  We went for a level II ultrasound.  After the ultrasound they took us to this little room so the doctor could talk to us - I was pretty sure this was not a good sign.  She told us that the spine looked fine but they had seen several markers of Trisomy 18.  The spots in the brain, a heart problem, and his little fingers were curled up into a fist.  I had no idea what Trisomy 18 meant so of course I asked - well what does it mean if the baby does have Trisomy 18.  Her reply - "it's fatal".  My heart sunk.  The next step was to get a definitive diagnosis.  She recommended that I have an amnio.  I was hesitant at first and set up the appointment with the intention of cancelling it.  After going home and talking to Jason and our families about it we felt like we needed to know what was happening with our baby.  A few days later I went for the amnio.  A couple days later I got a call from my baby doctor and she read the results to me over the phone.

Male fetus with Trisomy 18



I don't remember if I even cried at that point.  I think I was just numb.  Of course we were given the option to terminate the pregnancy - but that was never an option for us.  I always felt at peace with the decision that it was God's will what happened to our baby and that we would be able to handle it.  After hearing the baby was a boy we decided to name him after his grandfathers.  I researched Trisomy 18 on the internet and found that some baby's can live up to a year, but 80% die within the first week of life.

The next two months were probably the hardest of my life.  People asking when my baby was due.  My little boys excited for the baby to come.  I tried to explain to Ashton that the baby was very sick and would probably not live - but I don't know how much his little 4 year old self understood.  I sort of became a shut in.  It was just to hard to face people and answer those questions.  Jason was of course wonderful and just let me do what I needed to.  He quite often went to church without me and handled telling people what was going on.

One of the complications with the pregnancy was I had an enormous amount of amniotic fluid and at 32 weeks while sleeping my water broke.  I was scared as I felt the baby was going to just be too small to survive and more than anything I wanted our baby born alive.  We called in someone to watch the boys and headed to the hospital.  Of course because I was only 32 weeks my body was not ready to deliver so I needed to be induced to get labour started.  They checked the baby's heart beat and I was relieved they found it.  They didn't however keep monitoring the baby's heart beat during delivery.  At 3:30 p.m. that afternoon I delivered Kenneth.  I remember asking the doctor if he was alive and she answered "I don't think so hunny".

She placed him on my chest.  He was so little, only 2 pounds 14 ounces, and 14 inches long.  His appearance was dark - I assumed from perhaps a lack of oxygen during delivery.  But so beautiful.  Chubby cheeks and Jason's lips.  The doctor commented that the only outward sign he had of trisomy was the curled up little fingers.  We cried and spent as much time as we wanted with him.  The hospital staff were wonderful.  They put him in a little outfit and blanket, called him by name, and gave us a memory box to take home with his wrist bands, cards, poems, and the outfit and blanket we had put him in and his footprints.  I look at these items often and am so grateful to have them.

We spent a few hours with Kenny and when we were ready we handed him over to the nurse and left the hospital.  It was so hard to leave without him, but I think the hardest part was telling Ashton what had happened when we got home.  We told him his baby brother had been born, but his little heart was just to weak and he had died and gone back to live with Heavenly Father.  He cried and that about killed me.  Bowen was really too little to understand but we talk about Kenny often and he knows that he has a little brother in heaven that he will be able to see someday.

My dad and Jason made Kenny a beautiful casket, and mom helped Jason line it.  We buried Kenny in the Champion cemetary and had a little service for him at the graveside that our immediate family attended. 

Even though it has not been easy, I am so grateful I was chosen to be Kenneth's mother.  While I was pregnant with Kenny I prayed so hard that he would be able to be born alive.  How thankful I am that Heavenly Father knows me so well, because I know now how much more difficult it would have been to watch our little one die.  He looked so peaceful and I knew he had not suffered.  With difficult times come the most precious spiritual experiences and I know this experience has helped me grow closer to my husband, my children (all three of them), my family and most importantly my Savior.

WE HELD YOU IN OUR ARMS, NOW WE HOLD YOU IN OUR HEARTS